Trans 101 – A ‘How Not To’ Parenting Guide from BBC

 The BBC Social


On May 17 BBC The Social, a social media platform for ‘creative people across Scotland’ posted the above video in a tweet in support of the International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia and Transphobia (#IDAHOBIT2017).

In contrast, here’s an example of The Social’s attitude towards women:

The Social’s lack of respect for women is matched only by the contempt shown to parents (mothers?) in the above video from Kate Adair, a self-defined “Filmmaker, Content Creator, Geek, Trans, Pansexual Queeroid” which The Social thinks is qualification enough to advise parents on the treatment of their own children.

Adair has made several videos for BBC The Social, including Genitals Don’t Define Gender and What’s In Your Pants? in which men and women are defined as people who identify as one of the two extremes of the gender binary, and the desire to know a person’s sex is scoffed at as some sort of pervy curiosity about a person’s genitals. Invasive medical ‘gender reassignment’ is equated with dyeing your hair.

Whereas ‘trans’ people are allowed to use any labels they like even if Adair personally doesn’t approve of them (MtF for example, with its suggestion of starting out as male) the rest of us must accept the label ‘cisgender’ as that is just what we are. These videos are full of the usual contradictions and obfuscation of terms we are used to hearing from trans activists, along with the arrogant entitlement to change the meaning of words and impose the new definitions on everyone. Also typical of trans activists, Adair believes in calling people names and blocking them if they don’t subscribe to this new gender ideology:

‘TERF’ is a term invented by trans activists to slur and stigmatise women for the crime of knowing that a woman is an adult human female, a crime so heinous it is akin to being a Nazi. ‘TERF’ is used to threaten feminists, commonly in the phrases ‘Die in a fire TERF’ and ‘Kill all TERFS.’ Standing for the made-up category ‘Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist’ TERF is just the latest expression of misogyny, used to silence women. It is the response of a man furious if women do not meekly accept the new definition of ‘woman’ and fail to affirm him as a woman.

We decided to publish the whole transcript of Adair’s video, because it really is trans 101; a classic template of the usual misinformation, manipulation and scare-mongering that parents are likely to hear from any transgender organisation and which is promoted throughout the media. Our comments are below each excerpt:

“Hello again all you lovely people on Social my name’s Kate and this week we are talking about trans youth. For the past few years there has been a significant rise in children and families seeking support as more and more kids come out. And before you start, no it’s not because they are being brainwashed by some secret illuminati trans agenda [much eye-rolling] but because there’s been a significant change in attitudes especially amongst younger people allowing them to be more open and discuss their gender issues.”

Trans 101: ‘Trans youth’ need help to ‘come out’ just as lesbian and gay people do, it’s exactly the same thing. Young people are more accepting and open in their attitudes and they know that it is ‘gender identity’ which makes you a boy or a girl and not your biological sex; this is a truth which young people have suddenly, spontaneously, realised. It has nothing to do with the relentless media promotion, countless social media ‘trans’ forums, re-education through the school curriculum or videos like this one, to which young people are completely immune. 

The new ‘gender’ movement in fact comes out of gender/queer/identity politics taught by adult academics in university gender studies programmes, mixed with trans rights politics and sometimes masquerading as ‘feminism’ on campus. This is not a youth movement. Younger people are more open to new ideas and in particular social justice issues; this makes them more vulnerable to manipulation, exploitation, recruitment into cults and yes, brainwashing. This is because they are young. Wise parents are aware of how suggestible and open to influence their children are and seek to support them to think for themselves and to protect them from adults with political agendas.

“Which can only be a good thing because what parent doesn’t want their child to be able to come to them and speak about issues that are troubling them in their life and even younger than that, children sometimes as young as three or four are starting to express discomfort with the gender that they were assigned at birth. Now I know what you are saying: “How can a child know anything, children are too young to understand. Mine still believes in Santa, the Easter Bunny, and that there is [sic] only two genders.” [eye-rolling, shaking of head]

Trans 101: Children know themselves best; in this one area, uniquely, children have access to the real truth even if it contradicts material reality. Children expressing discomfort with their ‘gender’ means children know something – it’s not confusion, it’s inner wisdom. If parents don’t immediately accept and affirm their child’s belief that they are in fact the opposite sex, their children will never be able to share problems with them again. 

Of course every parent wants their child to be able to speak to them about issues that are bothering them. This does not mean that a parent must agree with everything a child says, parents also have a responsibility to tell children the truth. The wise parent knows that there is a difference between ‘listening’ and ‘agreeing’ and that children often speak in language which is symbolic, not literal. Parents understand that children are, by definition, people with limited experience and understanding.

“None of these are true. There’s actually a tonne of research out there that shows that gender is determined before birth. And that children as young as 3 or 4 are very aware of their own gender identity. But because society is still enforcing such a strict gender binary many children might not speak up about this or suppress their feelings because they believe that they are wrong – because that is what they hear around them. So listen to me trans kids, there is nothing wrong with being yourself and there is nothing wrong with being trans. You do you, ok? Good.”

Trans 101: The gender binary is a concept enforced by society, but at the same time we are all born with one extreme of the binary firmly implanted in our brains. The male/female sex binary doesn’t exist because being the male or female sex just depends on which side of the ‘gender’ binary stereotype you feel inside your head. 3 year-olds know this. ‘Being yourself’ means denying the biological reality of your own body. 

There is no evidence that ‘gender identity’ is innate, fixed and unchanging. In fact the evidence shows that the vast majority of children with cross-sex identity grow out of it. Although society does enforce a strict gender binary, the sex binary is a fact of biology; the conflation of the terms ‘sex’ and ‘gender’ just obscures this fact. The wise parent knows that ‘being yourself’ does not involve rejecting your body, that ‘you’ are not an entity split off from your body and that mind/body disassociation is not a recipe for mental health.

“Others however might just come out and say it bluntly. They might just say something like “mummy I’m not a boy I’m a girl” They might even show discomfort around single gendered groups of friends or stereotypically gendered toys. This isn’t to say that a girl wanting to play with an Action Man means that she must be a trans guy. Toys are toys after all, everyone can play with whatever they want. But typically trans children may be more vocal about this and there’s evidence to show that parents are noticing more and more gender variance in children when they’re still in nursery or primary school and if you speak to many a trans person they might tell you that they felt that there was something different about themselves and their gender from around the same age.”

Trans 101: Of course we are not saying that only girls can play with toys which society says are ‘for girls’, we’re all about smashing those stereotypes! But if a boy likes to play with those toys, it may mean he’s really a girl, it all depends on how much he insists on it. Individual trans adults’ personal memories are the only evidence you need.

‘Gender variance’ is now a concept that parents are encouraged to look out for as evidence that their child is ‘transgender.’ There has always been concern about ‘gender variance’ from those parents who are either invested in gender stereotypes or worried their child may turn out to be gay. It is transgender organisations who have made ‘gender variant’ synonymous with ‘trans’ by promoting their support for ‘trans and gender variant (or ‘gender non-conforming’ or ‘gender questioning’) children.’ A child who is ‘gender variant’ is one who defies stereotypes and should not be pathologised or labeled, and certainly not encouraged to conform to stereotype by changing sex. A sensible parent does not make a big deal of ‘gender variance’ and accepts ‘cross-gender’ play in their little boy without making that acceptance conditional on him being a ‘girl.’ With the toy industry relentlessly marketing extreme gender stereotypes to children, parents should be giving their child the opposite message to the one Adair is advocating: “There’s no such thing as ‘girls’ toys’ and boys’ toys,’ of course you can play with dolls and don’t let anyone ever tell you that means you’re a girl.”

“In fact figures show that there has been a steady rise in referrals in young people to gender identity clinics year on year. Now this doesn’t mean that children are being referred, going to a gender clinic, being thrown through some sort of gender-o-matic having hormones and surgery and being papped on their merry way before their 18th birthday. Doesn’t work like that. The facts are that for trans children up until puberty there is no medical intervention past talkative therapy, counsellors will speak and listen to them. They may even be offered as a family support and advice on social transition if that’s what they wish to do. Because remember rule number one when dealing with a trans child is to listen to the child.

Trans 101: Trust us. This is not social engineering. This is being kind to children. It’s all safe and harmless, so chill. Rule number one is believe the child, who we have already decided is ‘trans.’

A pre-pubertal boy does not need medical intervention to convince him that he really is a girl, all it takes is the adults around him ‘affirming’ him as a girl, as more and more adults are doing since we are being encouraged to interpret normal non-conforming behaviour as evidence of ‘being trans’ – this is perfectly illustrated in this video which gives us no option but ‘trans’ as an explanation for stereotype-defying behaviour. Transgender activists have been lobbying for a long time to add ‘gender identity’ to the ban on gay conversion therapy, with such success that parents cannot find counsellors who will do anything except affirm a child’s ‘gender identity.’ This is what is now known as ‘listening to the child.’ Supporting a child to ‘socially transition’ is enough to set him on the ‘gender reassignment’ pathway. Parents can either create space for a child to develop and mature naturally, or they can affirm, validate and reinforce an ‘identity’ which it will be very hard for a child to come back from, having been thoroughly conditioned to believe it is true.

“Now as puberty begins medical intervention may take place around the age of 12. And even then they won’t be prescribed hormones or ANY surgical options whatsoever. They may be prescribed puberty blockers. These drugs are nothing more than a pause button to buy more time for the child because there is nothing more distressing for a trans kid than going through the wrong puberty and anything we can do to help kids feel less distress in life is a good thing right?”

Trans 101: And even when we start medication it’s only puberty blockers! Which are completely safe and reversible! All they do is ‘buy time’ for the child! Puberty blockers are just a ‘pause button’! We are just helping children who feel distressed and what person would not want to do that? Only the kind of person who doesn’t want to do ‘good’ for their child, clearly.

“We have created the fear of the ‘wrong puberty’ and now we provide the solution.” Children are given puberty blockers at Tanner Stage 2 of puberty, which may be as low as age 9 for girls. We do not know the effects of blockers on the developing adolescent brain, although some studies show evidence of a negative effect on cognitive performance. We do not know the long-term effects of blockers, although there is evidence emerging of serious long-term effects on the health of women who took them for precocious puberty. Parents do not want to play with their children’s cognitive development nor put them at risk of serious long-term health effects unless there is no other option and any treatment is tested and evidence-based.

“For many kids this extra time bought is a lifesaver and for a small number they may choose not to continue in which case they just stop taking the puberty blockers and puberty continues as is but for many this is just the stop gap until they’re legally old enough to start hormone replacement therapy.”

Trans 101: This treatment will save your child’s life. What kind of parent would take the risk of NOT putting their child on blockers?

It is obvious that only a very small number of children would choose NOT to continue on the trans path they have been steered onto since early childhood: what child is capable of suddenly questioning the wisdom of all the trusted adults around them, including parents, teachers and doctors? Puberty blockers ensure that a child is still a child when ‘making the decision’ to progress to cross-sex hormones, before having had the chance to mature sexually. As the child’s peer group leaves them behind in childhood, the need to catch up creates the desire for cross-sex hormones as early as possible. A child progressing from blockers at Tanner stage 2 straight to cross-sex hormones will be sterilised as gametes have not had a chance to develop. What parent wants their child to be sterilised and what kind of society thinks children can make this ‘choice’? Given the near-inevitability of progressing from blockers to hormones, effectively children as young as nine could be ‘choosing’ to be infertile.

“So that’s it. There is no secret agenda, no parents enforcing anything on their child. Actually, if parents are enforcing anything it’s the ones who are enforcing the assigned at birth gender on their child no matter what.”

Trans 101: Telling a child the truth about biological reality is forcing a child to be something they are not. It’s the parents who know their child’s sex and are truthful about it who are the real baddies.

Enforcing ‘macho’ pursuits and behaviour on a little boy who likes to wear princess costumes and play with Barbie is forcing him to be what he’s not. Reinforcing daily that he’s a girl is conditioning him to truly believe he is something he is not. They are two sides of the same coin. We have no idea how any individual child will turn out, but we do know that ‘cross-gender’ behaviour in childhood is overwhelmingly predictive of gay, lesbian or bi-sexual orientation, not transsexual identity. To call a child ‘transgender’ is to actively engineer a pathway out of homosexuality and non-conformity.

“Trans youth need support. Not to be told they’re wrong. I know it’s a dramatic change and I’m not telling you it will be easy but as a parent you have to ask yourself a question. Do you want an unhappy child likely to have issues in later life due to unchecked gender dysphoria? Because as we know there is a high number of attempted suicide rates amongst trans teens and adults. Or would you like to have a child that you’re able to support and helping them feel a little bit less distressed in their younger lives? Without having to deal with the heavy complex situation of gender? Choice is up to you. Till next time Social folk.”

Trans 101: Don’t ever dare disagree with a child who says they are ‘trans.’ Incase you haven’t believed anything we’ve said so far, we’ll use the suicide card, that should do it. You can have a happy daughter or a dead son, up to you. That’s the only choice. Are you a parent who puts their child at risk of taking their own life or are you a parent who is supportive and helpful? You decide, bigots.

There is no evidence of children attempting suicide because their parents don’t want them to take an irreversible medical pathway. 90% of people who attempt suicide have a mental health condition; the Samaritans advise never attaching just one reason to suicide as it can lead to beliefs which increase the risk. Young people are being taught the ‘transition or die’ story; this is a story parents need to protect their children from. It is not a story which should be broadcast on a BBC platform which is obviously directed towards young people. The ‘heavy complex situation of gender’ only exists because it has been created by transgender organisations and activists.

The trans 101 parenting advice above is nothing less than the hard-sell of an ideology which accepts no other reason but ‘transgender’ for childhood behaviour which does not conform to stereotype. Any parent who cares about their child’s future health and well-being would seriously question this ideology which pathologises normal childhood behaviour and offers irreversible life-long medicalisation of healthy children to ‘fix’ it. Young people themselves, being young, may not recognise the misinformation, emotional manipulation, scare-mongering and guilt-tripping tactics displayed in this video. Sensible parents recognise exactly what’s going on and try to protect their children from this ideology which so many young people are getting sucked into.

This Post Has 5 Comments

  1. Dave

    In the above video, which dates back to 2016, Kate Adair says “.. when you’re born, a doctory type takes a little cheeky look at your genitals, slaps a “MALE” or “FEMALE” on your birth certificate and sends you on your merry little way.”

    This, says Kate Adair, is “your SEX, NOT YOUR GENDER”

    However in this @bbcthesocial tweet (17th May 2017)

    Adair contradicts the earlier video: “… children, sometimes as young as 3 or 4 are starting to express discomfort with the GENDER they are assigned at birth.”

    As soon as you start to examine transgender issues in detail, the whole internal logic falls to pieces. It’s hardly surprising that most trans people – including Kate Adair @uhh_kate – refuse to debate the subject and invariably block those who ask difficult questions.

    Parents need to know the truth, and that means not believing all the propaganda around this topic. The BBC should not allow itself to be used in this way again.

  2. MrsDK

    Thanks for such a detailed and truthful takedown…Why is the BBC not doing more to question the trans narrative??

  3. ConcernedAdult

    Thank you for this. In time this present madness will end, but until then a lot of damage is going to be done. Parents need to be supported with a loving, watchful waiting approach to gender dysphoria. Personally, I think a social transition gives the children validation of their feelings. All grown ups should act grown up and remain neutral on whether their child will actually finally be transgender when they are more mature. Surgery should not be advised, except in extreme circumstances, until age 25. Only then are the frontal lobes fully developed, and the person capable of a mature decision.

  4. Dave

    My complaint to the BBC:

    The person in the BBC online video claims there are more than two genders, and goes on to say that “There’s actually a tonne of research out there that shows that gender is determined before birth.” I believe the above is false.Furthermore I believe this false information is harmful to young people and their families. Please can the BBC cite the tonne of research evidence to justify your claim?

    BBC Response:

    Thank you for getting in touch about BBC The Social. Your comments were passed to the Executive Producer of Social Media, who has asked that I forward his response as follows:

    “BBC The Social prides itself on being a platform for a wide range of opinions and viewpoints. We feature young people in Scotland talking about the subjects they care about and what they are talking about with their friends.

    We feature a number of contributors who are interested in discussing their own views on gender and also the wider discussions of gender politics in society.

    Kate’s latest video “Trans Youth” addresses a subject which has been in the news a number of times recently and includes the line “There’s actually a tonne of research out there that shows that gender is determined before birth.”

    As with all our content we check sources before we publish, the term “tonne” is informal and subjective but we believe there are enough different sources to allow its use in this instance.

    Here are some sources:

    • The Transgender Child: A Handbook for Families and Professionals (google link below)

    Point 1 highlights the specific paragraph.

    • The Transformation Process of a People: From Bc Africa Up to 1619 America

    Point 2 highlights the specific paragraph.

    • This article discusses sexuality in brains being hard wires from birth:


    “Sexual identity is rooted in every person’s biology before birth and springs from a variation in our individual genome.”

    “Our findings may explain why we feel male or female, regardless of our actual anatomy,” Vilain said. “These discoveries lend credence to the idea that being transgender — feeling that one has been born into the body of the wrong sex — is a state of mind.

    Evidence Supporting the Biologic Nature of Gender Identity

    I hope this satisfies your enquiry.”

    However, we appreciate you may continue to feel differently and therefore, I have passed on your complaint to senior management and programme makers on our audience feedback report. These reports are among the most widely read sources of feedback in the BBC and ensures that your complaint has been seen by the right people quickly. This helps inform their decisions about current and future programmes.

    Once again, thank you for taking the time to get in contact with us.

    1. Transgender Trend

      There is no evidence that any small genetic brain differences cause transsexuality, nor that these differences persist into adulthood as suggested in this video. There is a ‘tonne of evidence’ that gender identity is not fixed as around 80% of children desist from cross-sex identification during puberty and the majority become gay, lesbian or bi-sexual adults. If these brain differences are present in “trans kids” (and there is no evidence that they are) they are more predictive of homosexuality, not transsexuality.

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