This page is a collection of resources for parents, including some things you might want to share with your child, including useful websites, writings, books and videos. See also the Detransition page for useful stories from people who transitioned and later regretted doing so or gained new insights into why they had taken that path. Also see the Professionals and Alternative Views pages for a range of different viewpoints.
Note: The most coherent arguments against gender identity theory have been made by feminists, some of which are included here. We don’t include the view of far-right religious groups which is prejudicial towards gay and lesbian people.
The best online resource for parents: a blog where you can find consistent excellent writing and research as well as personal accounts from a growing parent community. Essential reading.
“4thWaveNow was started by the mother of a teenage girl who suddenly announced she was a “trans man” after a few weeks of total immersion in YouTube transition vlogs. (The daughter has since desisted from identifying as transgender.) After much research and fruitless searching for an alternative online viewpoint, this mom began writing about her deepening skepticism of the ever-accelerating medical and media fascination with the phenomenon of “transgender children.””
Youth Trans Critical Professionals
A site which was founded by a group of professionals sceptical of the trend to diagnose children and adolescents as transgender. An important alternative viewpoint from professionals in the field.
“This website is a community of professionals thinking critically about the youth transgender movement. We are psychologists, social workers, doctors, medical ethicists, and academics.We tend to be left-leaning, open-minded, and pro-gay rights. However, we are concerned about the current trend to quickly diagnose and affirm young people as transgender, often setting them down a path toward medical transition.”
Inspired Teen Therapy
The website of Sasha Ayad M.Ed., LPC, a therapist who works holistically with adolescents as individual people
“I believe all kids deserve a compassionate and judgement-free opportunity to deeply and thoroughly explore their struggles before putting them puberty blockers and hormones. Children should be assisted in working through their issues and become inspired about whomever they are, without having to find a perfect label or permanently changing their body.”
Guidance for Parents of Teens with Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria
From The Jung Soul, website of Jungian Analyst Lisa Marchiano
If you are the parent of a teen who suddenly, out of the blue, announces that they are transgender, this piece by Lisa Marchiano is essential reading. Compassionate and non-judgmental, this is the best advice we have seen about how to respond as a parent to a tween/teen who becomes convinced they are ‘trans.’
“The trend to affirm and transition children and teens with rapid onset dysphoria is not supported by science at this time, however professionals are not offering much in the way of alternative treatment options. Having a teen with rapid onset gender dysphoria can feel like being lost without a map.”
Gender Critical Dad
A blog from the father of a teenage girl who has announced she is transgender. “A bit of a boring middle aged bloke, trying to keep his daughter safe. Shamelessly stealing ideas from Gender Critical Radical Feminism.”
Some Concerns About Pediatric Transition
A video by Lisa Marchiano, LCSW, in which she outlines her main professional concerns about the transition pathway for children and adolescents.
Parents of teenage girls may want to share this brilliant video series from Peach Yogurt with their daughters. Highly recommended viewing:
Seven Signs You Are Transgender
Why Some Girls Don’t Want To Be Women
Destroy Your Binder
This is a really courageous and moving video from Kat, a young woman who many teenage girls with body issues around their breasts will be able to relate to.
Secret Gender Critical Blog
A blog by a young lesbian who thought she was ‘transmasc’ for many years. “i discovered detransitioning blogs on tumblr and realized that, as a child, no one ever presented being a GNC female as an option to me. i was not feminine. i liked girls. i did not want to be a lesbian. i didn’t know any lesbians personally and like every other young girl in the US i grew up thinking that dykes were fat and ugly and aggressive and smelly and no one liked them. it was inconceivable to me that i could be a happy lesbian, much less a happy, non-feminine woman. it was inconceivable to me that i could deal with my dysphoria (my hatred of my body but especially my hatred of how men treated my body, and how society treated me because of my body) in a way that did not involve altering or obliterating it.”
“I Wanted An Identity So Badly”
“I was 100% thoroughly convinced that I was a woman trapped in a man’s body.” A really useful post from a young man called John who documents his own journey to becoming convinced he was transgender.
Interview with Grayson Perry
For parents of boys and young men, Grayson Perry is a man who challenges masculinity and cross-dresses without having to call himself a woman and he is always worth listening to as an alternative voice.
Sex and Gender – A Beginner’s Guide
The most thorough and comprehensive examination of the difference between biological sex and gender, taking in science, social and political meanings, hierarchies of gender, and the implications of ‘gender identity’ as a replacement for biology. By Rebecca Reilly-Cooper.
A Critical Analysis of Gender Identity
A talk in which Rebecca Reilly-Cooper brilliantly explains the incoherence of gender identity theory.
What is Gender Anyway?
A comprehensive, well-researched analysis of the development of the current belief in the idea of innate ‘gender identity,’ taking in scientific inquiry and political and cultural meanings of the term ‘gender.’ By Sarah Ditum.
Delusions of Gender: The Real Science Behind Sex Differences
The definitive take-down of the old myths of hard-wired, innate sex differences in the brain, written by neuroscientist Cordelia Fine.
The Myth of Mars and Venus: Do Men and Women Really Speak Different Languages?
Another good book on the myths of the differences between men and women, girls and boys, popularised by the book ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.’ Clear, amusing and readable, this is a book teenage girls (or boys) may enjoy. By Deborah Cameron, Professor of Language and Communication at Oxford University.
Gender Hurts: A Feminist Analysis Of The Politics of Transgenderism
This is a clear overview of the history of transgender politics which provides the context for the very recent practice of transgendering children. Thorough, meticulously-researched and clearly-argued from a feminist perspective. By Sheila Jeffreys, Professor of Feminist Politics, University of Melbourne.
Advice For Parents of Teen Girls and Girl-Children Who Think They Are Trans
Advice for parents from a young woman who was on the transgender path. “Also, you need to be able to support your daughter, but if your child confronts you about your hesitations, simply tell her this: “if anything medically bad happened to you as a result of my consenting to hormone treatment for you, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.” Don’t offer any further explanations. Hold firm on this. Repeat as necessary.”
Is My Child Transgender?
From the parenting blog ‘Communicating with Kids.’ Put ‘transgender’ into Search to find all the posts relating to transgender issues. “For children, ‘I’m really a girl’ or ‘I’m really a boy’ is the only language they have to understand and explain their personalities in a world that reinforces the correct gender behaviour everywhere they look. Society does a pretty thorough job of conditioning children into boy and girl roles as it is, can’t at least we parents feel and express confidence in our tough girls and sensitive boys?”
Purple Sage: On Leaving The Trans Cult
A useful personal story from a young lesbian woman who moved from immersion in transgender politics as a social justice cause to a realisation of the harms of the movement for women and, especially, lesbians. This is a helpful synopsis of the two sides of the debate for all young people. “I was taught that transgender people were born in the wrong body and had to change their body to match their internal image of themselves. I am an open-minded person and I had no problem believing this. But a lot of my feminist sisters were not open to it. I started getting into online fights with other feminists.”
To Boys Who Don’t Fit In – A Guest Post by Jesse
An alternative view from a transwoman who challenges the usual mantra ‘transwomen are women.’ “I’m a bit like you. I was a boy who didn’t fit in, who grew into a young man who didn’t fit in, and wanted, and wished, to be a girl.”