Breast Binding, Sexual Objectification & Grooming

‘Chest binding’ is the gender-neutral term for what should really be called breast binding as it refers only to teenage girls who want to flatten their breasts to appear male. Euphemistic language hides reality and therefore our framework of understanding. We are very grateful to Dr Em for writing this insightful piece which analyses breast binding through the lens of the reality of the lived experience of teenage girls within a highly sexualised culture.

After obtaining her PhD from the University of Cambridge Dr Em directed her energy into feminist campaigning and writing. She works with the feminist group Object! to challenge the sexual objectification of women and children and helped launch the Women’s Declaration of Sex Based Rights in New York in March 2019. She can be found on Twitter @PankhurstEM.

This essay is an important contribution to the understanding of a completely new phenomenon and we hope it will be widely-read by teachers, clinicians and all those involved in the care and protection of teenage girls.

Breast Binding, Sexual Objectification and Grooming

Breast binding may be a response to porn culture and the sexual objectification of teen girls. Liberal feminism (what I consider the anti-feminist backlash), otherwise termed ‘f*ck me feminism’ has failed our teenage girls and young women. Instead of challenging the culture of sexual objectification of women and girls and the pornification of our lives it has individualised the problem. This has promoted the notion that transitioning to a boy is a valid option to escape the pressure. As sex becomes increasingly violent, painful unpleasurable acts are normalised, sexual harassment reaches epidemic proportions and rape convictions cannot be achieved even with video and/or confession, who wouldn’t want to opt out of this?

Breast binding has become big business. For example, ‘Marli Washington, 26,  a transgender man and founder of GC2B Transitional Apparel, an online binder company, wrote in an email that the company had had “at least a 200 percent growth” since 2015.’1

Additionally, I think we need to question whether female teenage ‘chest-binding’ or ‘breast-binding’ should be considered a safe-guarding issue akin to self-harm and non-contact sexual abuse? This article will consider whether breast-binding is a response to the sexualisation of teenage girls, where breast binding is promoted, and how it normalises children purchasing ‘essentials’ from sex shops. I will then analyse how obtaining binders may open a window of opportunity for the sexual grooming of young girls.

What is ‘Chest-Binding’?

Transgender ideology is promoting the practice of breast-binding amongst girls and women in the U.K. Breast-binding involves wearing extremely restrictive material for long durations of time to either prevent the natural development of breast tissue or to hide one’s breasts. The practice damages the formation, density, and distribution of breast tissue and causes pain, difficulty breathing and in some cases a build-up of fluid in the lungs. Gendered Intelligence, a transgender group which the government has previously ‘worked in partnership with’, endorses the practice of breast-binding and argues that ‘Binding is a way to make your chest look flatter’.Likewise, Transition Ftm UK declares that

A binder is what we use to flatten our chests in order to give the appearance of a male chest. It can help a lot with passing and is usually quite common in transitioning. It can also help with our dysphoria. Some of us (me) we weren’t exactly graced with small chests, that can’t be hidden by layers of clothing, so using a chest binder helps compress our chests enough to pass as male.3

The practice of breast-binding is comparable to chest-ironing which the United Nations recognised as a form of gendered violence against women and girls similar to FGM.4 Breast ironing refers to the painful practice of massaging or pounding young girls’ breasts with heated objects to suppress or reverse the growth of breasts. Breast ironing is often performed in order to misguidedly protect girls from rape, unwanted sexual advances, early sex, and pregnancies, all of which people fear would result from the appearance that a girl has reached the age of puberty.5  Magdalena Randall-Schab, secretary of the UK National Committee for UN Women’s London branch, said breast ironing had continued “under the misguided intention to ‘protect’ women and girls from men”.6 In regards to a human rights review of Cameroon the U.N. urged

the State party to enact national legislation to prohibit female genital mutilation, as well as any other harmful practice, such as breast ironing, in all instances, to strengthen its awareness-raising and educational efforts, targeted at both women and men, with the support of civil society, and to eliminate the practices of female genital mutilation and breast ironing and their underlying cultural justifications. It also encourages the State party to devise programmes for alternate sources of income for those who perform female genital mutilation as a means of livelihood.

Why shouldn’t these United Nations guidelines apply to the binding of women and girls’ breasts in the United Kingdom? Like breast ironing, breast-binding is an attempt to prevent the appearance of puberty in natal females. Could the increase in sexual harassment and sexual assault at schools be linked to British girls and women wishing to delay the appearance or prevent the appearance of their breasts?7 Could transgender ideology be offering the wrong answer to a culture of sexual objectification?

If you are a woman reading this, when was the first time you were cat called? I was around 11, in my school uniform. There is a problem in male culture with fetishizing and sexually objectifying teenage girls.8 Young women are absorbing the message that their value is in how men and boys see them, do men and boys approve of them? Their self-worth comes from external affirmation, not themselves. This message is being amplified: look at the need for ‘validation’ in transgender ideology. Furthermore, teenage girls are immersed in a culture of ‘likes’ and ‘claps’, of show and performance. They cannot move without a camera, or possibility of a camera on them. Their lives are recorded and uploaded. I was lucky enough to grow up when the first camera phones were being promoted as the new thing and social media was MySpace or MSN. I cannot imagine what it would have been like to have an ever present threat of online social judgement stalk me during this time of self-discovery and growing.

The online social judgement is clear in it’s demands: one is either ‘f*ckable’ or ‘invisible’. As Gail Dines informs in her talks, if you don’t believe that teen girls self-sexualise ask a group of girls and a group of boys to split up and pose for selfies — the results are shocking.9 Teen girls are feeling pressured to send explicit images of themselves in order to gain and maintain male attention. Kerry Smith of Plan International UK, which works for children’s rights, told the BBC’s Victoria Derbyshire programme that “Girls are being pressured — sexting is a gendered issue — more girls are being asked to share” and that “There are double standards. When they do (share), the girls are shamed, not the boys who are holding the phones or the pictures or asking for them”.10

Culturally we continue to send girls mixed messages — they are to be both the gate keepers of male sexuality, producing the harassment they face through their existence, and non-sexual in case they are branded by their own communities. This focus re-enforces the concept that it is their bodies and their sexualities which define them, which express their inner worth. Porn teaches both girls and boys that the woman is there to sexually satisfy the male, an idea which saturates our culture and teen girls’ daily lives. Who wouldn’t want an out from this if they could take it?

Trans, wrongly, offers a third solution as it desexualises the girl but continues to allow them to be visible. The development of breasts is a big deal for teenage girls as it often opens the floodgates of sexual commentary and begins the policing of their bodies. The distinction between boys and girls becomes sharpened. From what one can wear to the swimming pool or beach to the fact that social media bans the show of female nipples as sexual content, which results in breastfeeding images being removed while pornographic content proliferates.11  The missive is clear: these and thus you are now sexual.

School uniform policies have a similar focus on bras and rather than changing the flimsy material of the shirts, girls are forced to adjust the colour and style of their underwear lest it distract the boys and male teachers. This is not new. In 2008 it was claimed that teachers at the Kings School in Winchester would be checking children’s, particularly girls’, underwear to ensure it met the official school policy. Bras became a focus – the colour (white) and the padding (none). It was alleged that ‘15-year-old Chelsea Hay and 13-year-old Kirby Moore were told at a girls’ assembly that coloured bras were ‘offensive’.12 In 2016 it was alleged that teachers told female students at The Barlow RC High School in Didsbury, Manchester, that they cannot wear coloured bras because ‘boys will be distracted’ from their lesson.13

In 2019 it has been reported that a mother was left enraged ‘after her daughter’s PE teacher told [her] nine-year-old [daughter] to wear a bra’.14 This focus on female children and female teenagers’ developing breasts is persistent and widespread. What does this teach the girls? That their bodies are now under the male gaze and being sexualised by their peers and educators. That they must make adjustments for male comfort. These messages from school about the focus on breasts are then re-enforced through advertising, online photographs, movies, pop videos, newspapers and the conversations of their male peers which they overhear. One can understand how appealing the notion of being a boy would be to these girls.

Where is breast-binding promoted?

The NHS now recommends breast-binding as a means for young women and girls to ‘pass’ as members of the opposite sex.15 Within this guide under the subheading ‘Internet Resources’ the NHS provides details of websites such as T-Vox which acknowledges that young women and girls must ‘give [themselves] breaks from binding’ as some methods

‘cause back or rib pain, restrict breathing, or cause skin problems’.16 

Under a subheading entitled ‘The Ten Binding Commandments’ T-vox states that

If you hear a rattling or wheezing in your lungs when you breathe in or out, take off your binder NOW and cough hard a few times to loosen up fluid. This means you have been wearing your binder too long or too tight.

If you continue to hear rattling of fluid in your lungs for more than 24 hours, see your doctor. Do not ignore this; you could be heading toward pneumonia. Always cough hard a few times when you take off your binder for the day. This will loosen any fluid that has built up in your lungs or the pleura of your lungs. Be sure to follow with a few deep breathing exercises to open the lungs.17

The NHS is not the only way the U.K. government is endorsing breast-binding for women and girls. This dangerous practice is promoted by an online transgender group which the U.K. government consults with.18 Indeed, the U.K. government published a guide for providing services for transgender children ‘in partnership with Gendered Intelligence’ in 2015.19

Schools are endorsing the practice by making allowances for breast-binding rather than addressing the underlying issue.20 The Sun has reported on new guidelines issued from local authorities in Cornwall, Lancashire and Scotland to ‘properly accommodate transitioning pupils in school’ by allowing transgender pupils extra breaks during physical education lessons due to breathing difficulties as a result of chest-binding.21 Is the U.K. government advocating through association and allowance a form of self-harm which has been condemned in a different variety by the United Nations?

The practice of ‘chest-binding’ or ‘breast-binding’ has entered the mainstream. An article in the popular online newspaper Buzzfeed by Sarah Karlan promotes the binding of a young girl’s breasts as a procedure which can be ‘absolutely life-changing and lifesaving’.22 It describes how

‘A typical binder is not only very tight but usually made of durable nylon and spandex — making them notoriously uncomfortable to wear’.23 

Karlan quotes one Elijah Renard, a Canadian video game designer who has been binding for over three years, who argues that

‘Binding is not without physical risks, but for many people who decide to bind, these risks are worth the emotional relief and safety they provide’.

This description would appear to place the practice within the category of self-harm.

Similarly, Lane Moore wrote an article for Cosmopolitan magazine entitled ‘A Complete Beginner’s Guide to Chest Binding’ which quotes one Jackson Treece, 29, who claims that

‘[Binding] offered me the ability to shove something that was bothering me to the back of my mind and not have to worry about it’.24

Treece’s statement is followed immediately by the claim of one Ollie Fjor’Skera, 25, who says

‘[I] really don’t like binding… It hurts, it makes my shoulders sore, it’s hard to breathe’.25

The article further quotes Caleb, 23, who says that

‘Binding constricts your ribs and diminishes your lung capacity, so I was really sore the next day or two, and had to take it extra easy on myself’.26

The author on Transition Ftm UK complains that

‘Unfortunately I found I couldn’t keep [a Binder] on for more than a few hours at a time before it affected my breathing and began digging into my ribs, but it definitely did the job. It gave me the flattest chest ever, however I suffered while wearing it’.27

The NSPCC’s own guidelines on self-harm under the subheading ‘Why children harm themselves’ explains that

‘Often, the physical pain of self-harm might feel easier to deal with than the emotional pain that’s behind it. It can also make a young person feel they’re in control of at least one part of their lives’.28

Why would breast-binding as a supposed remedy for feeling uncomfortable with one’s body, or having body dysmorphia, not be recognised as a form of self-harm by the NSPCC or the NHS?

Binders, Sex Shops and Grooming.

The NHS guidelines provide a link for where girls can purchase breast-binders. The NHS recommends

A reliable binder like one from will help give you a male-appearing chest.29

It appears that provides NHS endorsed breast-binders. Another group which the U.K. government consults with is Mermaids U.K. On the Mermaids website, following an attempted disclaimer, where to purchase breast-binders is then listed.30

In the mainstream media breast binders are products which can be found in sex shops. For example, the previously referenced article by Sarah Karlan in Buzzfeed describes the length of time wearing a binder as ‘6-8 hours, usually a full work or school day’ then quotes Renard who states that ‘I like shopping online but some sex shops will carry them’.31 Similarly, the Cosmopolitan article is advising girls to shop in sex stores. For example, it quotes a Dan Simpson, 36, who says ‘there’s a store in Chicago called Early To Bed that lets you try binders before you buy one’.32 Early to bed sells sex toys alongside binders and has videos where a child’s cartoon character talks about their first vibrator.33

Both mainstream articles promote sex shops. These may be directed at an American audience and merely accessible as the first internet links to U.K. girls but it is normalising that young girls would enter and make purchases from sex shops. In the words of Sarah Karlan, sex shops are now promoted as offering teenage girls products which are ‘absolutely life-changing and lifesaving’.34 Does promoting the use of sex-shops to children not come under the NSPCC’s guidelines regarding non-contact sexual abuse of children? Could it be considered ‘encouraging a child to watch or hear sexual acts’ and ‘not taking proper measures to prevent a child being exposed to sexual activities by others’?35            

Moreover, breast binders pose a potential ‘in’ for the sexual grooming of teenage girls. A Daily Mail reporter posed as a 13 year old girl in order to obtain a breast binder without her fictional parent’s knowledge. The undercover reporter ‘contacted Manchester based MORF, part of the LBGT Foundation, after an angry mother told us that the group had sent her 14-year-old daughter a chest binder without consulting her’.36 The result was that ‘after two short phone calls to the helpline number on its website, our investigator was told a chest binder would be sent in the post free of charge and with no indication of what the package contained’.37

The experiment was even more chilling in light of how it may be used to groom unhappy teenage girls. Grooming involves a carefully combined set of stages and a victim to be identified. All these stages occur but not necessarily sequentially and a predator may move in between depending on what stage needs strengthening at any particular time:

  1. What does that child need? (Love/attention/excitement) to
  2. I’m the only one who understands you/ loves you to
  3. Create secret between abuser & child to
  4. Use secret to isolate child from guardians and others through fear and or shame to
  5. Manipulate child.

From the conversation Barry can now work out that the ‘child’ requires attention and love (stage 1), and Barry is positioned due to being on the MORF helpline as one of the only people who understands her and her gender identity issues (stage 2). Barry subsequently offered to provide a binder confidentially, creating a secret between Barry and the child (stage 3). It is of note that predators will usually offer the intended victim something first, no matter how small, as it creates a natural human desire to reciprocate kindness.

If Barry had nefarious purposes, Barry could now further isolate the child from parents and guardians and begin to manipulate (stage 4 and stage 5). During the course of the conversation Barry obtained the child’s telephone number, which could provide unmonitored contact, and the child’s home address for the package to be dispatched. It was that easy. The ‘child’ had identified themselves as a potential victim by phoning the helpline, she could now be on the radar of a predator.

The ‘child’ spoke at length to an unknown adult about her breasts and genitals which indicated that the ‘child’ had poor to no boundaries and a possible disconnect from their body. Indeed, the Daily Mail reported that ‘Barry also questioned our reporter, believing he was speaking to a 13-year-old, on her bra size’ asking ‘Obviously I’m not massively familiar with bra sizes so you might have to help me out here’.  In what world is it o.k. for an adult male to say this to a child?

Reduced physical boundaries and a body disconnect are things a predator normally has to build themselves in the child but these children are coming with it already in place. Barry offered the child to come to Barry’s location and essentially get undressed and try on underwear. Barry said ‘I’ve been speaking to my colleagues so we do have some binders here. We have a couple of choices here. We can either send one to you or you can come in and try some of them on to see which is the best fit. Whereabouts are you based? Are you local?’38

This should set alarm bells ringing. This proposed meet up to try on binders would be a secret (stage 3), with someone who claims to understand the child better than their parents/guardians (stage 2). Imagine if photographs were taken of the child with breasts or genitals exposed, this could create stage 3 and stage 4 – if you tell your parents I will send the photographs, if you don’t do this for me I will send the photographs. Predators will move into roles where they can gain access to children, and transgender ideology is creating self-selecting victims while normalising the grooming process.

We need LGBT charities to help youth if they struggle with their developing sexual orientation, however, we need these charities to also maintain safeguarding and prioritise the child’s welfare over ideology. MORF and other transgender organisations do not. The Daily Mail reported that 

Astonishingly, when we confronted MORF about their decision to send a chest binder to a 13-year-old girl behind her parent’s back, they defended their actions. Speaking on MORF’s behalf, the chief executive of the LGBT Foundation, Paul Martin OBE, said: “We’re proud of how we responded to your reporter because we provided sensible, compassionate advice to someone pretending to be in need”.39

I don’t think adult men asking children about the size of their breasts and offering them to come for a binder fitting is ‘sensible’ or ‘compassionate’ but rather dangerous. Furthermore, the first, the almighty, rule of safeguarding is we don’t keep secrets. We need to teach our children this because predators exploit secrets that they create with the child to enable the fear stage. It is when the child is frightened they can be manipulated. This is not just happening at MORF, it is occurring online and has given predators who wish to hide under the rainbow an easy route to confused children. In what world is it o.k. that confused children spend hours talking to adults online, then meet them in secret to discuss their genitals and breasts? This is not progressive, this is grooming.



This Post Has 15 Comments

  1. charles lewis

    Just one more of the many horrors with which the toxic transgender cult. hellbent on turning our children into transgender whatever the cost , are offering us — unbelievably with the co-operation of the NHS. Who are these dangerous NHS cretins who go along with this ghastly abuse and what sort intimidation has led them to do this? — intimidation being, as we know, the driving force of the cult.

  2. charles lewis

    Sorry — please read ‘bombarding’ in place of ‘offering’.

  3. sly fawkes

    I hated when my breasts and hips started to develop. I was savvy enough to know that once they did, I would be sexualized by men. I was first catcalled by a group of construction workers when I was walking to junior high. I felt dirty and disgusted. My father told me I should feel complimented.
    I get the feeling that because of men who supposedly can’t “control themselves” around the sexy, sexy females, girls are supposed to make ourselves invisible if we’re not willing to perform for a bunch of guys behaving in a sub-human fashion. It is the smarmy men who should be punished for being misogynistic tools. Girls should not have to feel so desperate to avoid being objectified that they feel the need to become men.
    I always say that it’s fortunate that the trans agenda wasn’t being pushed back when I was a teenager. I was very vulnerable and had no self-esteem to speak of. I probably would have been easy to convince that I was actually a guy trapped in a female body.


    Next year the transgender self identification issue is due to be passed, or not, which hopefully will be the case.
    That our NHS, adheres to the ‘rules’ of the pro child transitioning surely has to be challenged via the law; in context, one of child abuse. Why the refusal to lift the veil of deceit is continually ignored is bearly credible .

  5. Laila Namdarkhan

    A must read , shocking and disturbing evidence that suggests breast binding is a serious form of self harm for girls reaching puberty body changes. The advice being given by trans charities, NHS, NSPCC are revealing in that they do not/have not made the connection between the UN outlawed ‘breast ironing ‘ and Breast binding…. both result in Brest tissue and other related organ damage. How is this practice sanctioned in the West when in African Countries it’s outlawed????

  6. Marieke

    I still remember the first time a relative mentioned my developing breasts (“Look, Marieke is getting boobies!”). And I was 12 when I was first sexually assualted by an adult man. Many incidents followed, including a rape when I was 15. I started binding my breast at age 13. Not with a binder, I don’t think they existed 30 years ago, but with too tight tops covered with wide clothes. At age 19 I wanted to have them removed completely. The plastic surgeon refused to do that though, but he did reduce them to a smaller size. I never achieved the body-type I desired: an androgynous figure. It was impossible to hide or modificate my obviously female body: the curves, the hip-waist ratio and my (lack of) height.

  7. Margaret

    I too was born in a time before trans was a thing. Even so I was agast when all I got for my 12th birthday was an electric razor and a bra. From then on I always wore my blazer and stockings, as well as convincing my mother I needed bigger size school uniforms. It was a difficult time, but the pressure on girls now is terrible, I don’t know if I could have handled it.

  8. Aura

    Where are the references for this?

    1. Transgender Trend

      Click on the References link at the end of the post. There are so many we put them on a separate page.

  9. Logan

    I’m not here to start a fight. But this article misgenders trans boys and men, whether accidentally or purposefully (calling them girls and women), and I understand that there are some, or even many girls/women that bind too, and I don’t know if this is an oversight or not, but it is something.
    And I would not necessarily classify binding as self harm if the intention is to reduce dysphoria, which is something that can often be life-threatening to trans people.
    Also, I agree with the organization that offered the reporter-pretending-to-be-a-teen a binder, and help. Many trans kids aren’t able to come out or obtain a binder on their own, and some would be put in danger if their parent/s knew. They offered someone they thought was a trans kid in need, help.
    I’m not trying to say that this article did not have good points. However, I am trying to say that some of their points are flawed.

    1. Lily D'Eon

      In the famous book 1984 there was an invented language, which was being enforced to ensure no “moral crime” were even thinkable, literally. How can we walk into the distopia, so well known and recognised, astounding.

    2. Anon

      Trans boys and men are called girls and women because that’s what they are. “There are some [non-trans-identifying] girls/women that bind too”? Females who do not identify as men are being included in this article as well if you correctly understood what the author was talking about: uniquely female experiences such as the systematic dehumanization, sexualization and objectification of girls and women which causes females (whether they identify as such or not) to want to get rid of their breasts, as they blame their body for the way society treats them. You are a girl (and you shouldn’t have the need to identify as a boy since being female isn’t bad), which is why you share this experience with non-trans-identifying girls, we’re all female and we ultimately suffer these problems because we are female and people (especially men) decide to treat us a certain way due to that.

      “Gender dysphoria” in females (“transboys” and “transmen” as you call them) stems largely in part because of these issues which are actually caused by a patriarchal, misogynistic society. It’s just that transgender activists promote the idea that gender dysphoria is this mysterious condition with a very unclear definition and which is innate to “trans” people that explains all the psychological pain you feel, instead of allowing young people to realize the actual causes of their psychological issues, anxiety, discomfort with their bodies and social roles, etc.

      “Gender dysphoria” is caused by none other than the way society treats you, not because you were “born trans”. Instead of addressing the actual causes of your discomfort, transgender activism dictates that the only way you can relieve the pain is by harming your own body, be it through the irreversible effects of transgender hormone therapy, by breast binding, or by sex change surgery which turns you into a life-long patient who will always experience physical pain, usually with undesired results. How is that NOT self-harm? It’s like how other kinds of self-harm temporarily distract you from your emotional pain and its causes, “relieving” you of one kind of pain by inflicting another, but don’t solve anything. As stated in the article, breast binding provides emotional relief, helping girls to forget that they’re female even if just for a brief moment, which is seen as worth the often excruciating pain and even health complications, just like any other form of self-harm, even though it doesn’t solve the actual issue.

      Of course, TRAs would never call it by its name, instead reframing it as something that’s actually healing and most importantly, prevents you from committing suicide! They love using this fearmongering tactic to gain public support and groom minors into transitioning and hiding it from their parents or guardians. Trust me, gender dysphoria isn’t nearly as “life-threatening” as you’ve been told (if there are any suicide attempts they’re most likely due to the actual causes of that individual’s issues and not due to being supposedly “born in the wrong body but denied transgender care”), but proving it is kinda hard when TRAs do anything in their power to have the scientific evidence censored (yes, there have been studies that prove it is false that trans people are significantly more at risk if they do not transition).

      It’s true that there are minors whose parents/guardians are abusive or have very regressive ideas, but you can’t possibly think the average child or teenager would be safer trying on underwear in who knows where with a bunch of adult male strangers than at home under their parents’ supervision. This idea that’s pushed by TRAs that parents who aren’t 100% supportive of their “trans” child transitioning are always in the wrong and abusive, and that total strangers are preferable to take care of that child, can be, and indeed has already been used by rapists, human traffickers and pedophiles to sexually exploit “trans” minors.

      Girls who bind their breasts because they’re depressed about how others see them as sex objects and/or because they hate being associated with humiliating female stereotypes, girls who go on to have their breasts surgically removed altogether… They’re doing it because they hate their bodies, do they not? You do not modify your body so radically unless you hate that feature, and there must be a reason why you hate it (the answer is not “gender dysphoria” as gender dysphoria has a reason to be in itself, it isn’t an unexplainable condition or caused by you being born wrong). As we (radical feminists and gender-critical people) have already said countless times through various channels, your body is not the problem, you weren’t born wrong, you shouldn’t punish yourself/your body for the actions of others.

      Instead of promoting physically harmful practices and making minors more vulnerable to grooming, wouldn’t it be better to provide therapy for these girls, teaching them ways to cope with incidents of harassment and discrimination, providing them ways to boost their self-esteem as girls in non-sexual ways, building strong support networks to which they can turn when they’re feeling discouraged or are harassed, and so on (while trying harder to prevent these from happening in the first place by teaching boys to not watch porn and to treat girls like human beings worthy of respect, making it more socially unacceptable to harass girls and women, preventing the open sexualization and degradation of females in media and real life, etc.)?

  10. Lily D'Eon

    I am with you, but actually think that too much anxiety and blame goes into so-called “objectification” and “sexualisation”. Women’s level and flavours of her interest in sex throughout their life change, but they are not on average less interested in sex than men. Modern UK society may have failed women in terms of career equality, but it’s reasonably safe to walk most streets. I wouldn’t advise my daughter to feel ashamed at being whistled at. Wouldn’t that help girls develop with more confidence, if they took your father’s point. Learn to take a compliment. Just throwing a dismissive glance should do it.

    1. Anon

      You seem to miss the point entirely. Girls’ confidence shouldn’t have to come from being seen as a sex object, especially not when they’re around the age of 13 and their cat-callers are grown-ass men. This is not just misogyny but also normalization of pedophilia. Those men don’t want to “compliment” the girl, they want to make her feel uncomfortable and assert their dominance over females, reminding her of her position as nothing more than “eye candy”, because apparently young underage girls turn them on.
      It’s insane that you think it’s fine for a pubescent girl to be cat-called by perverted adult males, and even worse, that you think she should be happy about being treated like a piece of meat randomly on the street. Maybe that’s the sort of attitude you developed to cope with your own sexual harassment, but not everyone wants to lie to themselves like that.

      Ask yourself why this ONLY happens to girls and NEVER to boys, and why the cat-callers are ALWAYS men. Ask yourself why SO MANY women started to experience this from ADULT men since they were pubescent, or even pre-pubescent girls. Girls and women who find it unacceptable are not the ones in the wrong, just like trans-identifying girls’ bodies are not the problem that needs correcting.

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